kORNfLAkE kWOtES

newish:

kornflake: why do you want to go to heaven?

squish: because in heaven all the guys will be cute gay abercrombie boys who'll love me.

Kornflake: great, i'll STILL be single!

"There can be only one.  I don't CARE if it's your house-warming party!"
-- Kornflake Mcloud, of the clan Mcloud

"I don't NEED luck.  I'm beautiful.  Luck is for the ugly."

-Kornflake, on attracting guys

"fuck you. *hug*"

"IN the loop? i AM the loop!"

kornflake: steve broke up with me...
me: oh my god, hon are you ok?
kornflake: yeah. i want a cookie.

"i poke you with my chinese chwopstick of doom when you no looking!
...i feed dawg chickun wing. he go chokey chokey! i feed peopo doggie bag at westawant..."

"WAKE UP LOWELLL!!"
-said on her kickass radio show coffee and cartoons (91.5 WUML)

[paraphrased] "the phone's ringing, here, listen to this."
-kornflake as she puts her whole radio audience on hold to answer the phone.

me: hey, you didn't make a noise [when i poked you].
kornflake: yes i did, i said ouch. it was not a happy noise. it was an i'm-going-to-kick-the-shit-out-of-you noise.


oldish:

"Tell me something I already know, so I can reserve braincells by playing dumb."

"What is this 'reality check' thing? And why does mine keep bouncing?"

"Infathomable."
"[No], only speckled goat cheese dryer sheets are infathomable."

"If it were possible to relate to you, I'd say that I can relate."

squish303: ...sometimes just getting myself to"go to"bgd can be a task
kflake wx: can i make a crude suggestion?
squish303: okay, but it has to involve the works "carpet" and "lung"
squish303: i can tell you're thinking hard about this one
squish303: and you have to phrase it in the form of a question
kflake wx: no, i've got it... 'til you made it a qustion.. okay, you'll have to really pardon me... no, i can't say it... well, okay... i would say why don't you get intimate with your carpet and, in the process, bust a lung out of sheer rug rousing ecstacy?
kflake wx: that should tire you

[asking for my phone number]:
"Hey dude, toss me the digits yo' "

[to me]: "I am relieved... I was beginning to think that I had misjudged you, and that you were normal after all."

"A strange thought crossed my mind, and didn't make it to the other side."

"i just want you to know that was NOT me you saw on the bridge this morning. i wasn't even there, so how i even know that you saw someone on the bridge even resembling me is beyond me, so just take my word for it. would i lie to you?"

"And the advantages to being logical are...?? You know these advantages HOW?"

"Get up off the floor."
"I was looking up your nose; it was kind of cool."

[to me]: "do you think i can add that to my list of assets (no pun intended)... that it is an exhilarating experience to touch my ass? your opinion will be taken into serious consideration, because you are the *only* person who has touched my ass recently."

"There's a party in my pants!"

"THE CHEESE WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!!! BRING OUT THE CRICKETS!!! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, I ASKED FOR FRICKEN CRICETS, AND YOU BRING ME A LAMPSHADE?! THIS IS AN ATROCITY! BUY MY ENDANGERED DOGS!!!"

and of course....

"BORK!"