WHERE THE F*** IS SQUISH?

It's been about (over, actually <hide>) four months since my last Squish7 news update.  I say "Squish7" update because I've been very active and hard at work on Frangles, a fresh, bold new innovate fractal nonline!@#$%!!I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE GOD@#$INGDAMMIT Can I say dammit?  My Frangles pals aren't watching, are they?  Mwuhaha!  Dammit to hell and fuck you all!  Fuck Frangles, fuck boston, and fuck Scituate!  I know, that's not very Squishy language, and I'm probably already fired, but remember, as a comedian I've always been about balance between ki ddie-friendliness and obscenity.  The obscenity always sold like forty billion times better, but as a decent human being as well as one with a growing general audience (approaching five now, up from four from last year) for my lovely youtube videos and guitar lessons of all ages (not the guitar lessons, the fans), I'm afraid that my Abercrombie & Fitch / Bestiality webpage may be the crudest I may ever get to be in this lifetime.  (Unless, of course, I'm living several lifetimes simultaneously, and how the hell would you know if I was.  Figure that one out.)  You can consider the relationship between my kiddie-friendliness to public crudeness the ratio between the dolphin-huggy film Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and the deleted scene where Arthur, Ford, and Zaphod break through the door with Marvin's arm and scream, "DO PANIC, MOTHERFUCKERS".  Maybe that's me behind the scenes of Frangles, which seems to saturate my life now.  Or at least my free time.  which brings me to another point, what the hell am I doing now, anyway?

Well, for starters, I have a friendly little parakeet next door who goes "CHEERP!" every few seconds from 6am to 10 at night that's doing wonders for my aspiring career as a live-at-home novelist.  No, really, because it's so annoying that the annoyingness bends right back around infinity and lands back at friendly entertainment, for the monsterous irony of landing not just in a cliche annoying-bird-out-the-window novelist setting but cliche above and beyond imaginable even for this cliche setting, is so extraordinary that the sheer irony of it lands the bird back at friendly gain, as if it's chirping "Infinite literary irony... CHEERP... Infinite literary irony... CHEERP!" which is, as I said, quite inspiring as an aspiring novelist.  Hence I hold to my initial claim of a friendly... CHEERP... parakeet next door.

K, what else... well, what NOT else I should say, as four months is quite a long time in the life of a schizophrenic bipolar manic depressewhatever whateverwhatever for whom even a simple walk by a rose brings me back to all the billions of past lifetimes I spent as a rose, good or bad...  or tragic... or extatic... or nightmarish... (Err, how can a lifetime as a rose be nightmarish?  Maybe if you're a rose on the sidewalk of a satanic goth bathhouse in a side alley in the ghetto..??  Unless you're a black rose, in which case you'd be pretty appropriate... except for the basic fact of you being ANY kind of flower at all, in which case you'd probably do better as a flower in a greenhouse or florist's mall stand, where the comment "How ironic, a black rose amongst such color" would probably be above the comment "How ironic, a rose in the middle of our fucking ghetto/goth/bathhouse club" in desirability.  Where was this going again??  Oh yah, right, my ADHD meds are better than everlong song I'm working on, one of my favorite songs ever written called "Foo Fighters", or was that the band and "Everlong" was the song; I don't know seeing how I've developed dyslexia, anorexia, anasthlexia, computer vision syndrome, pigment dispersion syndrome, factual relation upheaval syndrome, asphyxiationia, irritible bowel syndrome, hemmroids, amnesia, dementia, alzheimers, cataracts, paraplegia..  (Or at least a couple of those, anyway (if any).  I'll let you decide which.  (Turning old stinks.  Nutsy people like me usually have shorter lifespans than your average person so at 30 I'm probably half way to death, which means it's just closer and closer from here.  Not too bad if you incorporate Xeno's paradox actually, or a higher dimensional escape to Emerald City when the heat death of the universe rolls around...wait am I in a fucking TRIPLE parenthetical (Ok that was either contrived for comedic shock value or my ADHD is just really that bad, i'm bad, really really bad... oh yah I was really sad at Michael Jackson's death but that's really more an issue for outside this now-QUADRUPLE fucking comedic parenth--)))).  (There we go.  And I'll be damned if any ADHDer can backtrack--err, I mean scroll back--as well as THAT's a damn big fly in the corner of my UGHGH where's my ritalin!?  I killed too many people this week they won't let me have it back) =(

Well, I don't know how long I have before my anti-ritalin pills kick in for the night, so why don't I just get toZZZZzzzzZzZZZzHUNG?  Where the--oh... --to the important stuff and then ramble about the details you don't give a shit about later if there's time, like a news article (unless I throw in some crucial tidbit of info that changes everything I said before, like NOT.)  So let's start with my wait I'm hungry, no, like really, hold on a sec...............K, back, now <grumble, mrumble> whre wshaz Ish?  Holdsh on...Ok, done.  SO, let's start with my job, career, friends, family, health, finances, boyfriends, girlfriends, goals, and--oh wait, I don't have any of those!  Except for family.  Oh, and super hi-def 720p disability-funded apartment plasma walls.  I'm like yay!  Doesn't 720p look cool!  And people online (I don't have any friends left, <tear>) are like: "ROFL, 720p; we already past 1080p, didn't even stop for 5120p, went straight into the five-digit-ps, and now we're looking to invest in a couple q's and r's."  Which is of course great if you can manage to get that far, because then you can study philosophy textbooks on your plasma billboards and can ascend from digital entertainment to pure logical imagination.  (The variables p, q, and r are used to designate certain propositions in augmentive propositional asserrific logic or something like that, I can't remember; they kicked me out of Philosophy 101 in college for suggesting that the suggestion that the class didn't exist was just plain bullshit reasoning.)

Which brings me (having traveled a totally non sequitur train of thought) to my site, (because I've written some philosophy on my site, and of course mentioning anything that has anything to do with anything on my site segweys straight dead into the topic of how my site is coming along, right?  Are we still on the philosophy rant?)--or lack thereof, just like my job, career, friends, family, health, finances, boyfriends, girlfriends, goals, and--oh wait, I don't have any of those!  Except for family.  Oh, and super hi-def wheeee space-time loopy loop recursive loopy oh dear he's finally lost it (again again again wheee).

SITE.  Okay.  Well, the thing with Frangles (a new fresh fractal nonlinr@#RRDMUTHERFU##) is there's this whole mystery thing around who writes it (or is procrastinating writing it (<cough>, Kyle, <cough>).  Right now I'm Frangles' main known potential writer (or "friter", as part of the Frangles word is coining a whole bunch of random shit synonyms that start with "fr" to make everything all creative), and I say "potential" in that the whole mystery thing is so ineffably complex that you don't even know whether I'M really a friter or not.  We put out all these possibilities, like for instance, maybe an alien publishing company from Pluto hired me to pretend to be the "only known friter" when in fact I'm not EVEN a friter at all.  So you can take that and let fly your imaginations with all other fathomable possibilities (like a country of Xanglianists who plan to use Frangles as their gateway into world Xanglic domination, like in The Faculty, except with a low-hit website in place of an obscure high school).

Which brings me to MY site.  Yes MY site.  I HAVE one.  My OOOOOWWN goddamn site.  Mine.  My own.  My preccdisiosuss...  Otherwise known as Squish7.com.  (My [boss / alien friends / skynet AI network / whoever] suggest that "Squish7" could actually be an alternate name for Frangles, because Frangles prose lines up in axes of 7.  (Seven pages by seven chapters by seven novellas by and now I'm just plugging again; how did we get off me and get into Frangles again?), but you can't have it godammyou.)  And what do I have to say about MY site now that we're talking about it?  Well, basically that I haven't had much time for it lately due to other unnamed and anonymous obligations that you can pretty much guess given the information that I don't have much of a job/career/life/etc and have already ranted about Frangles about seven billion times already using my fraudulant hatred of as a brilliant subliminal advertisement because why WOULDN'T I want you to get into the freshest and newest most bestest fractalnonlinesrf#@FSDD<*slit wrists*>

Alright, no, seriously.  You want to know where my online efforts and stuff are at (clearly since you're reading this online and likely don't know me personally or you wouldn't bother reading this 50-page thesis to find out), so here goes.  The most thorough nutshell I can give you is this.  Over the years since my very first site (when squish7.com was squishfordummies.com), my ADHD--in hindsight--has basically translated to online material/artwork/etcetc.  I start domains like they're construction paper drawings and would love to develop them but just don't have the time to work on them all.  I feel I could take any online project I start and spend the rest of my life developing it and making it a big deal.  (I WOULD say "then there's all the other real life artistic ambitions I have too" right here, but strangely, I think most anything I do in life translates to real life as well as online life; I can do guitar teaching on or offline, or songwriting, or ultimate frisbee reform, or book writing, etc.)  So what you see me doing currently is just a whole bunch of random shit basically.  Without a brain chip to exponentiate my creative output, you can only do so much in life.  (Maybe they'll design one before I die, who knows, but I'm not planning on it).  So what's left is what to focus on.  At a rough ballpark, I'd d like to deal with guitar teaching, novel writing, and ultimate frisbee reform, however the hell I'm going to do that.  (I have a radical view of ultimate frisbee strategy that the world hates me for but I think it's like an Einstein-vs-quantum physics thing and who are you to say otherwise until you've heard me rant for a few hours about the matter.  The trouble is how exactly to DO that, but again, artistic efforts extent to real life as well as online nowadays, and I think I have a good shot at combining the two to get my theories out there.)

Given my ADHD etc etc etc, god knows I'll probably change my mandate a dozen times--or I should say tweak my mandate, since I can't really imagine runing off to study penguins in Antartica and give up guitar and frisbee and Frangles--but where was I going?  The projector's off my eyes were starting to hurt.  Oh well, we'll do the rest of this blind, as I'm too tired to go back and edit anything and my eyes hurt all the time anyway so I don't spend meticulous time editing any more.

Yah, that's another big thing, I'm going fucking BLIND.  Serves me right for staring at a monitor for 25 hours a day with a diet devoid of vegetables and UV protection.  I might start a major webpage devoted to all my eye problems and solutions I've come up with, but I can't even begin to dive into all that now as it's waaay too much to get into.
    Am I still typing in a text box?  Good.
    (Not that I can tell)
    Where were we?  Right, online stuff, and what I'm doing and will be doing and what to look out for.  First and foremost, you can keep up to date with me day to day right now by checking the Frangles updates page where often post what I'm doing there (as well as do others who mot or mot not exist or be real at all).  Really, I mean even the whole Xangles / Frangles / Blorkk stuff goes long periods without being edited, so I suppose from one point of view ALL of this stuff--i.e. my site and everything I link to or am a part of--could just be plain ol' me, since it is all updated at a rate that might seem consistent with a bum jobless artist, but of course there are a hundred other points of view as well.  From one point of view (the opposite extreme, sort of), the ideas and concepts of all this stuff I'm connected to are massive enough where many, many people could be involved or were needed to collaborate and think this stuff up.  If I do say so myself I'd have to be very, very prolific to be doing all this stuff myself (my html and graphics styles to tend to litter the whole Xangles / Frangles / Blorkk / etc / etc domain slew), and in that area I'll let you judge for yourself from my past and from my character (and hospitalization list) whether you think this stuff could all be me or not (and to what extent you estimate my lack of career and social skills to be able to update ten domains at a full-time, or over-time even, rate).

    Are we on a new paragraph yet?  I think I left some kale burning...  Ah!  AAlmost 6am, here comes the parakeet (*puts on earmuffs*)

Well, I think I'll leave you off at "important stuff" and Skip the "unnecessary details" for now, and just tell you to check the Frangles Updates page for the day-to-day news involving the stuff I'm working on (I'm currently working on a lengthy book called Writer's Bricks; and let you viciously hit refresh on all my other domains I've started or am involved with, etc.  In fact it's a pain even to keep indexes and glossaries on multiple sites, so just check there if you want an up-to-date.  NEWS OF ANYTHING I'M INVOLVED IN WILL BE POSTED THERE--Squish7 or anywhere else--if any updates are made ANYWHERE.  From one "frangle" as they say, the entire freaking internet is a subproduct of Frangles, so one might easily adopt the point of view that Frangles is the main title/franchise whatever which all this other stuff falls under (for instance, Xangles could be a "Frangles saga", instead of Frangles being a "Xangles saga" as it's called now, and Squish7 could be a "Xangles project" instead of a "related domain", etc etc).  So, it can make perfect sense to list updates for all this stuff on one updates page.  An update listing something new in Blorkk posted this or that week can be akin to the Wachowski Brothers (creators/directors of The Matrix) announcing a new Matrix-based comic that will be released that such-and-such person may or may not care about or be following.

So, I suppose I've hyped that enough; I just want to make it very clear when you surf around to all my stuff and/or the stuff I'm involved in (this wording is getting tedious) that if it all seems unupdated and stuff, that's just because there's so MUCH of it that I can only focus on one thing at once.  Just writing a BOOK is a full time job, nevermind all this xanglically / blorkkan / squish7 bio / A&F Bestiality / eclectic youtubing / fractal nonlinear frisbee blah blah blah blah, so when allll that just sits in a rut, know that I'm working my butt of at SOMETHING, and right now it's Writer's Bricks, a novel of Frangles, a FRESH FRACTAL NONLINEAR FREE ONLINE NOVEL NONSENSE SAGA!  (I did it!  Whee).