SQUISH - BORN BAGGED FOR HELL

verse: C, F (with high E open), G (2x);
F, G, Em, Am, F, G, F, G
chorus: F, G, Em, Am; F, G, C
bridge1: F, G, Em, Am (2x); F, C, F, G
bridge2: F, G, Em, G; in 3/8: C G C G (etc); back to 4/4: G
ending: F, G, Em, Am; Am, G, Em, G; C G C (etc)

VERSE1
They say all dogs are sinless, 
And their souls belong above
But i think it's unfair some are saved
While others are given the shove
'Cause i'm told i'll burn for being me
In a firey lake of puke, drowned in
Flaming pus and all because i think brad pitt is cute

CHORUS:
All dogs go to heaven, but the gays all go to hell
Oh my dog's got a ticket to heaven, but I will burn

VERSE2
My boy and i walk barefoot on the beach holding hands
The church says we can't marry if we ever had the plans
So for now we just stand close inside a deep true lover's bliss
And we breathe eachother softly in and kiss
Meanwhile my dog's humpin' the shit out of every dog on the beach
And takes a piss on a poodle, and a shit on a shitzu
And i'm just kissing a guy...
But i'm the one who's going to fry...

(CHORUS)

VERSE3
I guess I could get treatment; it's hard living so taboo
They have programs for the evil sin of sex drive thrown askew
They can help surpress my every waking need to date and fuck
'Till i see an abercrombie boy and think, "oh what a shmuck!"
Oh they'll mess me up and dress me up and scrape and scald and PRAY!!
Oh but in the end God won't be fooled; he knows- he- made- me- GAY!

BRIDGE1:
Cuz I'm born bagged for hell
But my dog's tagged for heaven
Rainbow flags all fall
Where we'll flame flame flame
But our pets will purr
Where the saints all soar, and even the
ACLU cannot save us then.

(CHORUS)

VERSE4:

I like pictures of cute shirtless guys cuddling puppies to their bare 
chests-- you know, you've seen those right?  a picture of a model holding a 
cute little puppy cuddling it?  Isn't it like SO cute?  because, like, the 
guy's soooo cute, and, like, the puppy's sooo cute -- but in a puppy-cute 
way, you know, not a guy-cute way, cause that'd be bestiality -- and then 
they're extra cute together, and the guy's extra cute because he's being all 
cuddly and the guy's cute and the puppy's cute and it's just the cutest 
thing in the whole world and-- um-- ah, er, sorry...

I like pictures of cute shirtless guys
Cuddling puppies to their bare chests
But I still feel kinda sad 'cause I know somethin' here conflicts
Cuz one day they both have to die
And the puppy will go where the angels fly
But the guy-- aint-- goin 'cause models are gay
So guy, cuddle the puppy, NOW!, cuddle away;
Soon he'll fly up to a milkbone-shaped heaven hotel
And you'll be burnin' with the other puppy-fuckers in hell!

BRIDGE2:

If we were REALLY made in god's image,
Then why is "GOD" spelt backward's: 'D' 'O' 'G'?

[FAST]:

dog loves dog but dog hates dog and
dog fucks dog but dog bites dog but
dog loves man and dog licks man but
dog hates man and dog bites man but

man loves dog and man pets dog and
man feeds dog and man loves dog but
man hates man and man fights man but
man loves man and man fucks man and

god loves dog and god loves man but
man hates god and dog doubts god but
god loves dog and god loves man yeah
god loves dog and god loves man but
god hates man who sleeps with man

(CHORUS)

ENDING: 

I try to be good, but i'm doomed anyway
So if I'm not goin' to heaven
I might as well do what my dog does, while i'm here and...
HUMP THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF EVERYTHING THAT MOVES, YEAH!!
FUCK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF EVERY GUY I SEE, YEAH!!
HUMP THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF EVERYTHING THAT MOVES, YEAH!!
FUCK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF EVERY GUY I SEE, YEAH!!
(repeat many times)

Cause all dogs go to heaven...
But the gays... all... GO... TO... HELL,
Yeah my dog's got a ticket to heaven
Oh my dog's got a ticket to heaven
An all-paid ticket to heaven
My dog's-- got-- a ticket-- to heaven--
But i will BURN...
AMEN. [sung on a standard Amen cadence, IV to I]