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WHACKED NURSERY RHYMES



Old King Cole was a merry old soul,
And a merry old sole was he;
he called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl,
But when he got his pipe he smoked too much and died of lung cancer.


Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner
Eating a Christmas pie.
He put in his thumb,
And pulled out a Christmas
And said, "Well what did you expect would be in a Christmas Pie?"


Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Wait a minute
Shouldn't violets be purple?


Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard,
to get her poor dog a bone.
But when she got there,
the cupboard was bare.
So she threw her dog in and locked it up and got sued for cruelty to animals.


Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep.
and she doesn't know where to find them.
So she stuck in her thumb,
And pulled out a plum,
and said, "What the hell am I doing in THIS rhyme?"


Rub-a-dub-dub,
Three men in a tub.
Hmmmm.....


Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pale of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill cackled evilly.


Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep....
And now Farmer Bob is feasting on lamb chops.


Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner
Eating a Christmas pie.
he put in his thumb,
and pulled out a plum,
And said, "what is this plum doing in this pie?"

 

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