JELLY
BEANS THAT JELLY BELLY
SHOULD ADD TO THEIR COLLECTION
captain crunch
pepto
bismol
nicorette
apple-cinamon
rice cakes
moldy
orange
vanilla
ice
meat
loaf
spilt
milk
lowell
tap water
lasagna
new
england clam chowder
alpo
starbucks
coffee (line of 20 specially flavored jelly beans, but not
one of them tastes like regular coffee)
air
movie-theatre
buttered popcorn (it costs seven times as much as the
normal buttered popcorn jelly beans)
tardar
sauce
orange
metamucil
the
viagra jellybean
ginseng
extract
the
total corn flakes jelly bean (15 have 100% of 12 daily vitamins
and minerals)
grape dimetap
unproccessed
bran
dirt
absolute
vodka
the
"i can't believe it's not a jelly bean!" jelly bean
the big
mac jelly bean
buttered
lobster
fingernail clippings
ketchup
(for the big mac jelly bean)
toasted
eggos (leggo my jelly bean!)
wheat
jerm
strawberry
quick
the
sweet taste of revenge
chex
mix
crab
rangoon
frosted
flakes (the jelly bean adults have GROWN to love!)
human
flesh
lathered
soap
squishy
tofu
spam
eggs,
sausage and spam
spam,
spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, eggs sausage and spam
low-sodium
V8
non-dairy creamer
bread
listerine
roasted
bufalo carcass
the
"leftover alcohol taste in your mouth the morning after"
jelly bean
lip balm
fluff
great
woods spring water ($2.75 for one jelly bean)
grape
nuts
pot
waxed
denal floss
the
taste of kissing cindy crawford
the
taste of kissing brad pitt
the
slim-fast jelly bean (just eat a handful for breakfast and lunch
and then a sensible dinner!)
vinegar
aquafresh
toothpaste
tangerine
dream
the
star wars jelly bean (tastes like the tofu jelly bean but the
name alone will sell billions)
the
self-esteem jelly bean (it's what's on the inside that counts)
the
philosophical jelly bean (you can't ever be sure whether or not
they actually exist)
the
neglectful father jelly bean (they're never there)
the "waiter there's a fly on my jellybean!" jelly bean
and
lastly...
the
"taste of blood in your mouth just after getting hit by a
big fat guy named carl whom you started a fight with because he
insulted your short, red-haired, flakey, but still pretty hot
girlfriend lisa, who, being a very radical feminist, actually now
thinks you're an unintelligent egotistical male pig show-off for
starting the fight, which you don't know yet but will completely
kick yourself over later because this guy is ten times bigger
than you and now you're going to get the shit beat out of you AND
lose your girlfriend" jelly bean.