squish7 / laughs

squish & autumn

quish4dummies
: hey autumn
autumnalwalking: this is her friend Laura. She's not here
squish4dummies: riiiiiiiight
squish4dummies: ;-)
autumnalwalking: uh, actually it is
squish4dummies: yeah, i believe you, "laura"
autumnalwalking: fine. don't believe me. who are you, anyway?
squish4dummies: i am god
squish4dummies: ignore the username, "god" was taken
autumnalwalking: riiight
autumnalwalking: ;-)
squish4dummies: uh, actually, it is
autumnalwalking: fine, god, which religion is right?
squish4dummies: so you can be laura, not autumn, but if i say i'm god, and not squish, ohhhh how the tides turn then EH?
autumnalwalking: tell me which one i believe in
squish4dummies: oh, so you buy all that "omnipotent" crap that's been propogated by antiquated religions eh?
autumnalwalking: omnipotent means all powerful not all-knowing
squish4dummies: see? you expect me to know perfect english too
squish4dummies: that's another myth
squish4dummies: i never wrote the english language, i can't keep up with the changes
autumnalwalking: myth, eh? why should I believe anything you say?
autumnalwalking: or is the need for faith not a myth?
squish4dummies: because i'm god
squish4dummies: faith is silly. faith is a word made up to sound like a nice excuse for not having enough facts to make a logical conclusion.
squish4dummies: people NEED faith because they're too dumb to figure out what's REALLY going on
autumnalwalking: do you believe that facts are objective, then? who decides what is fact? how could it be completely objective?
squish4dummies: well, you can never know. you can just take what you know and act according to the probability that the laws you observe in your objective universe will continue.
autumnalwalking: subjective universe
squish4dummies: if i drop an object ten times and it falls to the ground, i just assume it will fall the eleventh. it may not, but that's the best i have to go on.
autumnalwalking: so, you learn through experience. is that why humans are so fucked up?
squish4dummies: so it's a fact in my world that objects drop to the ground when left in the air. it's never a completely conclusive fact; if an object floated at some point, the fact would be nullified.
squish4dummies: yes.
autumnalwalking: you sound like a shitty excuse for a god
squish4dummies: i wrote an instruction manual to life once but it didn't survive the third edition. people were too intent to learn by screwing things up. human nature i guess.
autumnalwalking: did this have a title?
squish4dummies: yes, "life's instruction manual, by god"
squish4dummies: no, not a shitty god, just a very bad wizard. i'm just the man behind the curtain. people think i'm much more than i am.
autumnalwalking: that's fairly generic. i think you got ripped off. you should've learned about patents and copyrights and such
squish4dummies: in 12,456 B.C. it was quite original actually. anything else ever written was a take on the original.
autumnalwalking: you got ripped off.
squish4dummies: yes
squish4dummies: the bastards
squish4dummies: i told you i wasn't very good at being god.
squish4dummies: people don't like me. they'd rather believe i'm a super omnipotent being who can fix anything than see the truth.
squish4dummies: so they lie to themselves and start silly religions like christianity and hinduism.
autumnalwalking: dude, hinduism isn't silly watch your mouth, please
squish4dummies: i think it IS, watch YOUR mouth
squish4dummies: why should your opinion take precedence over mine? i am god afterall
autumnalwalking: go masturbate
autumnalwalking: and leave me alone.
squish4dummies: i don't masturbate, i'm god.
autumnalwalking: what the hell does that mean. you're not omnipotent or omniscient, yet you don't have the pleasure of masturbation? it sounds like you got a raw deal
squish4dummies: yes, i have a rather pathetic life actually.
squish4dummies: it's quite tragic.
autumnalwalking: why
squish4dummies: you want me to explain how and what I'M about? i'm sorry, it's just too complicated, it would melt your brain if you understood.
autumnalwalking: you seem to assume that i am a simpleton
autumnalwalking: do you even know where i go to college?
squish4dummies: my dear laura, the human brain itself does not have the capacity to understand the full nature of god, it's nothing personal.
autumnalwalking: I am certainly not your "dear"
squish4dummies: can a clock understand the world of a clockmaker? it simply is built to understand.
autumnalwalking: isn't
squish4dummies: right. i'm still getting this typing thing down. sorry.
autumnalwalking: mmmhmm
squish4dummies: so, laura, what do you study
autumnalwalking: the development of human sexuality
squish4dummies: the development? how can you know the full development of human sexuality unless you're me? don't tell me you believe that silly adam and eve story.
autumnalwalking: no, i actually don't believe that story and why are you knowclaiming omniscence?
squish4dummies: i don't claim omniscence. i don't have logs of where every person who ever existed had sex. but i do know where i started it from, and the general evolution of the function of human sexuality in the human species.
autumnalwalking: k, suit yrself
squish4dummies: well, i'd love to stay and chat some more with you, but i have some plants to water. i'll see you again.


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